Because I Can't Concentrate

Life is full of contradictions, and I find them even within myself.

When I was a kid, I thought that I would never make it to university. At that point in time, everything just seemed so far away. I was quite settled with the fact that before I finish High School, the world will end. In fact, I didn't really mind if the world ended while I was in Primary School.

Paradoxically, embedded within me has been a desire to get into one of the most renowned universities and kick the smartest ass.

I'd listen to my father's stories about how he joined the Nottingham Games and won a medal for Sheffield University.

When my uncle from Germany comes to Malaysia to visit us, I'd smile at the way he tells me of how he'll bring me around Hamburg and possibly Paris if I really do head to the UK to study.

In church, I'd see person after person getting prayed for before they left to study abroad. And I remember how I'd tell myself, 'Michelle, that's going to be you. One day.'

And now, these things have came to past.

I've been to Nottingham to watch the games and sat in the hall my dad once played badminton in, I'd be heading to Germany in a week's time to visit my uncle and before all these, back home, I was prayed for in church.

Now, in my tiny little room, I look back at all these with a sense of satisfaction swelling through my veins, knowing that there is only You to thank for.